It's 12 am. I'm sitting in the office, browsing the internet. Stomach in knots.
In 4 hours I get ready to head out for a flight to Comic Con in CA.
About an hour and a half ago I hit the bag to relieve some nervous tension. Didn't really help.
I don't like planes. Period. Everyone LOVES to say how safe they are. How your more liable to get in an accident being on a train or bus, than you would on a plane. Look at the Statistics they all say. haha ok. Statistics mean shit if you happened to be on the plane thats doing cartwheels between clouds now does it? Ehh?
I love how they claim Plane's get a bad wrap because all their crashes are televised, when only half the trains and buses that crash get that much exposure.. WELL DUH.. you think the news cares ? they want the most sensational stories they can cover. Plane Crashes get the coverage because they get more bang for their buck, because its almost 100% certain that everybody dies.
I mean come on.. when will you hear something like this..
"Bus swerves and hits white picket fence, dozens survive, are bored and go to Arbys, Film at eleven..."
SO ya, spare me your statistics people. Planes are guided missiles. They don't float or glide. If the engines go stop.. you go plop.. Theres no rolling to a casual stop. From start to finish, theres obscene amounts of pressure on that hull. The Wings wobble, shimmy and buckle, and it take 4 pilots, radar, and a dozen traffic control people to get one down completely safe. if any one of those fuck up, your ass is jam on concrete toast.
But Mindchamber, you say.. They got this Flying nonsense down to a science! those are all isolated incidents! PFFT. There was just a plane crash last week! fuckin plane landed and slipped off a runway.,, and poof. gone.. There is almost a plane crash a month around the globe. Isolated? Roffel that captain.
why haven't we made safer planes? Or planes with some kinda safety chute? Don't Tell me its because its all state of the art. Thats what they said about the Space shuttle, and they were blowing up astronauts for years. In comes some private millionaire, he makes a safer space craft that launches off of a plane, and whattaya know, the next Space shuttle from NASA is launching off a plane.. I guess we need to make another contest where millionaires compete on making safer planes..
OHH heres one!! make one where people DONT DIE!!!! Ill draw out my idea.! so if any of you millionaires want to invest in this BE MY GUEST... Ive had this idea that saves lives, but it would probably be too expensive so hopefully someone with real money will make it. NOW..THIS... PLANE I WOULD FLY IN
Also if planes now a days are so goddamn safe then how come every time a plane finally lands everyone is clappin in that mothafucka?
If Trains are so much worse, Then every car should be clapping when we get to 30th street station.
Hell, the way the Chinatown Bus drivers drive everyone should come out break dancing.
Here's a neat analogy. Say you have two revolver pistols. One has a single bullet. The other has 3 bullets made of piss. If you spin the first pistol and get the bullet you die, if you spin the second pistol and get piss in your eye, some dude named bubba smashes your face in with a 2X4.
Now theres a chance the cut to your face from the 2 by 4 could get infected from the piss, and you could die, or you could just go home with a really bad headache.
which do you choose?
Just don't tell me planes are safer anymore. To me something is safer when an accident occurs and you DON'T DIE.
Definitely not the only Son he's had, but one of many Born out metal , ashes and big hair of the 80's.
No, I'm not saying Ol' Optimus Prime was some Sugar Daddy, laying his Oats upon the masses. This is about the many of us, who actually looked to the cartoon as more than weekday afternoon entertainment. Sure it was a blast running home from school throwing your sticky polyester catholic school uniform on the ottoman and hitting the tube armed with a bowl of Booberry.
No matter how silly the show was. You knew one thing. It was Serious to Optimus Prime.
Yes they were 22minute commercials, yes the writing was full of public service announcements.
But He meant every last word of it. He meant them, and I felt them.
He meant business when it came to Decepticons, and showed tolerance and compassion to his subordinates.
His deep graveling voice, was always assertive, but fearsome only his enemies. It was the father we all wished we had. I didn't have the worst family life out there, but it definitely wasn't the best. My father was a kind man, with a big heart, and a lot of dreams, but sadly he was also a weak man. He let Drugs control his life. There was a level of distrust that slowly ate away at the family. It was something I knew was not normal. Things like that had me longing for that sense of comradary displayed by the Elite autobots, and their leader.
Later on in life I would find myself in precarious situations,,. Times where I could've stolen, robbed, or sold drugs. Easy money , easy way outs. I would say to myself, I'm better than this. Learning that the right way almost never meant the easy way. During my retail days, I was considered a brown noser by my coworkers, and my superiors thought I was eyeballing their jobs.. No one ever understood, that there was never any ulterior motive other than me trying to do my best.
While I won't take away from the Ortiz spirit and spunk, alot of that drive is innate There's no denying the inspiration from a certain imaginary figure to keep it going.
A couple of years back I had the opportunity to meet Peter Cullin in person.
There was a convention called CyberCon run by my friend Tony Bacala, who basically said. GET DOWN HERE MAN, I GOT CULLEN!!.. So I grabbed Eric Blak, and off we went.
The Line to Cullen's Signing filled up quickly and the anticipation was building. Is this man, the embodiment of Prime? Is he just some actor going through the motions? What the hell am I doing here? I was feeling silly for a second then I remembered why I was there. I wanted to know, if the way I was living was truly a lie. A delusion I imposed on myself because I had no one else to imprint these values on me. Halfway to the stage I finally get a glimpse of Cullen, who is a rather small compared to his 30 story robot counter-part. He has a huge barrel chest where no doubt his amazing voice emanates from. As my turn slowly approached I noticed a group of kids ahead of me.
The mother could barely control them. When their turn came, they took every advantage they had to milk poor Cullen for all hes worth.
The rule was one signing per poster, per turn.. Sister here, had like 5 posters, and both kids were swinging around Cullen's neck like the gross sticky baboons they were. I watched Cullen's reactions intently .. Here was the moment where Ol' Peter will flip these kids off of him slam down his fountain Pen and yell . " Hooooww Daaare you.. I AM Optimus PRIME"... I was like the Emperor from Star Wars..
I sat there watching going ..' Yessssssss Peter... Shoooow me your Annnger.... '
Show me.. Mister Prime, that I am wrong, to have lived the way I have.. show me, that working smarter, at the sake of others, is always better than working harder.... Show.. me..
Well, He didn't ...
Cullen gave a quick glance over to the people running the convention, and the look they gave him was.." you are on your own Prime, were going back to Cybertron"... So with a big sigh, and a smile and a wink, he Took those pictures. Gave them big hugs, signed all their posters and toys, and kindly sent them on their way.
When It was my turn, I asked him a simple question. I said, "How does it feel? To have all of these people from so many generations, come here.... Just to hear your voice.." He looked up at me, cupped his hand towards his heart, and said " I am humbled by it every time."
It was a lovely sentiment. it was slightly reassuring, but he IS an actor. This real? who knows?
The next day there was a more specific meet and greet with Mr. Cullen.
the convention room was cleared out, and there was only the stage and a row of chairs.
Now I don't know if it was the fact that we were in a temple basement complete with designs of stain glass windows, or the way everyone stood up and repeated what Cullen said, but when he came on Stage, with one arm raised, and in a booming Voice , proclaimed. "Till All Are One" I immediately felt like I slipped into some underground Masonic Cult.
He proceeded to tell us how during the taping of the show, he never got fan mail, or even knew so many people listened to his voice they way they did. He told a heartwarming story of a sick child that never got to personally send him fan art. He explained who were his inspirations, and why he now sees how he has been able to inspire so many. During the Q and A portion someone stood up, and told their story, and how Optimus Prime, with the help of Cullen, inspired him to be on the straight and narrow. It was then that I realized, my story wasn't a unique one. I was so happy to know, my ethics, while still a bit more rigid than the more tolerable , and understanding Prime, was not as unique as I thought.
There is still more to learn from this man. As much as I love to compare myself to him, I still have a tough time with tolerance, and forgiveness. Forgiveness being the toughest trait to master.
I'm hoping it will come with stability and age.
Even to this day, he doesn't fail to Impress me. When Peter Cullen is Prime, he gives his all. From the movie screen, the talking toys, right down to the nintendo DS Screen, He puts in his heart and soul..
It wasn't until a recent interview when Everything I loved about Peter Cullen was further galvanized into my Spirit.
He clearly states he would not have done the role of the movie if they had changed any of Primes characteristic Traits. The Character mean way more to him, and his Fans, than a Paycheck.
I no longer have any doubts in who I am, and never will.
I hope I can leave my mark on the world like that with my MindChamber robot one day, but for now
I am content and Proud to say:
I AM, the Son of Optimus Prime.
and if Cullen should ever happen to grace this Blog, All I can say is.
Stay Strong Pops, cause we love ya.
its what it is, thats all I can really say.. Any casual movie goer that knows Micheal Bay Knows what they were in for. A cheezy Popcorn Flick. They expected as much, and thats what they what they got.
The Story has been rewritten(read: bastardized) for the new generation.
The "Allspark" a special cube that gives life to all transformers and has ravaged Cybertron in a war for years was sent to earth to avoid decepticon control.
Megatron, chases after it. and gets himself frozen in ice for many years.
The location of this cube was itched into Sam Witwickys Great grandfathers glasses.
Which is how Sam become important. So the Autobots attempt to approach Sam for the glasses, while the Decepticons have been infiltrating the military to find the location of the Cube and megatron
The movie is Wall to wall action, a lot robots crunching and scraping. Amazing cinematography, a lot of yelling, and HUGE Potholes.
Secondly the transformers, while a bit convoluted, are incredible to look at. No question the designs are still ugly, but the way their pieces catches light in the scenery is something to be amazed at. Guaranteed the first time Optimus transforms, it will bring a chill to your spine.
Its also one huge 2 hour commercial, with products and cars getting shoved in your face at neck breaking speeds, but we've becoming accustomed to that.
I still found there absolutely no reason to redesign the characters. It was purely personal choice on those involved. Heres why
The Transformers exhibit no mechanical movement,Thus the need to expose so many internal parts was not only unnecessary, it countered the way they moved.They are as over animated as your average Pixar movie. (they even use Frenzy as gremlin sounding, Goofy sidekick)They mass shift. The density between Robot and car is very obvious. (as well as other things) The Fact that they yell and speak English is interesting, and yet out of place. The action is intense, and confusing. The fighting is dramatic, the one liners are totally clichéd....hey... sound familiar?
Well it SHOULD, Its an episode of any transformers you've seen before.
Thats right, If you are a purist you will hard pressed to not like this movie if you just see it for what it is, a Two hour episode of the 80s transformers.
Problem with us purists, is that we expected more, and to be honest that has nothing to do with the show, it has to do with us.. WE Built up this incredible universe for the transformers, WE are the ones with these amazing in depth characters, in our fan scripts and comics. Can we really expect anyone from Hollywood to understand that? No.
The script was garbage. the writers are hacks, and should definitely turn over their Pens. It took TWO people to write this crap, but then again, the writing of the original show wasn't so great either.. Ranters.. So in an odd twist, If you liked the Show for what it was, then you shouldn't have a hard time loving the movie.
If you expect more from your characters, then continue to turn towards the community, because thats where the true world of transformers live.
I had a good time, just not a great one. I'm neither upset nor impressed.
Heres a big fat C
Because its better than the fucking movie. Fuck Bay and his gay ass writers, for destroying everything we loved DAMNIT!