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"If reality is dependent on what each person perceives it to be,Then reality as a collective does not exist."~MindChamber
"Do not be defined by your conditioning, Otherwise the rest of the world will define your path."~IntraFace

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Vector Life Giver

School Of Visual Arts

Allentown PA

Joined on 6/20/00

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Hate, Death, Purpose.

Posted by MindChamber - October 16th, 2007


Interesting thing Happened Friday. While Arguing on IM with some oversensitive queer who still lives in his moms basement over some mediocre game. My brother was trying to contact me. At that time it wasn't important to me what he had to say. I was having a nice volley of Drama Text, with someone that thinks way too highly of themselves. Finally the FUN had to come to an end. So I blocked the queen in mid rant, and returned my brothers message since he was being so insistent, and spoiling my fun.
Well he was quick and to the Point. My Grandmother Had a stroke, and expired.
So I did feel somewhat bad about the situation. Being not available for my brother. They were somewhat close so I try and understand how he feels and help him out any way I could.

As for me. I hated the Bitch. Plain and Simple. Nothing changed my demeanor when I heard the news.
I think I choked up more when the Merekat 'Flower' died on that show Merekat Manor. Then again Flower died trying to protect her pups, Grandma Died on her way to the shower getting ready to make her way back to Atlantic City and Gamble away her pension.

The little time I had with this woman all I could ever see was her dark side. She was manipulative, conniving, and hurtful. She Loved to tell me what I did with flash was nothing more than a hobby. She sneered when she noticed my college diploma hung in my room. Stating who do I think I am.
She would try and get me to pay back bills just because she wanted some extra money to gamble.
even going as far as saying She never received my rent money in hopes I would pay again.
I have nothing but disdain for this woman. My hate for her left me with an insatiable need to 'Prove' Myself. I WILL MAKE IT, with this so-called HOBBY . YOU FUCKIN BITCH. I will make a fuckin difference.
and Not BECOME THE BITTER FAILURE YOU BECAME IN YOUR LIFE. I used my hate to finish school, to continue to look for work in my field, even drawing out projects when I came home from long days working at local Video Chain store and dealing with asshole customers. Every time she made an effort to make my life a bit harder,(like not paying the electricity and leaving me in a hot room in a heat wave) I worked harder at my goal. I have such a hate for this woman that the mere smell of her perfume would put me in such a pissed off mood, that all I wanted to do was nothing else but get back to work on my stories and art.

So.. Nows Shes' Dead.
And Guess what NOW YOU NEED MY FUCKIN MONEY, TO HELP BURY YOUR ASS. How Ironic.
My money, made from my "hobby" will be sponsoring the last shovel of dirt on your face.
It's almost Poetic.

Now I get back to work.. but... somethings missing. I look at the stage window in flash.
and I can't Help but feel empty inside.
What is this? Is this Sadness? Guilt? Do I feel remorse for her passing.. Hmmm I sit back and assess my feelings. categorize them, file them. Oh.. I see now. Its one Less person that didn't believe in me, one less person to hate. One less driving force. So for a whole day.
I couldn't concentrate. Was I doing all this, just to prove a few insignificant people in my life wrong?
I actually felt like Agent Smith, in that Big Brawl scene in Reloaded. I lost... purpose.. I didn't realize how many of my engines ran on hate.. There's quite a few. But if all the people I hated disappeared,would I lose my drive, because I felt no purpose?
It's hard to figure out what came first, my love for storytelling or my hate for my grandmother.
I've felt both for as long as I can remember. Running on the belief that no child is born corrupt I will have to say my love for storytelling came first. In which case, I shouldn't worry about me ever losing site of my goals.
I will say this. It is people like my Grandmother, and like that faggot in the begining of this blog that fuel me to keep going.
So Yes. Please.
Keep telling me I'm worthless. Keep Putting me down. Keep insulting my intelligence. Keep dissecting my work. Keep on with the ridicule.
It Doesn't Stop me or slow me down like you think. It keeps me going Strong.


Comments (64)

I don't believe in you.
That help?

only if you write it across your chest and send me the pics, Lol.

Ehh, sounds like something pretty normal...I don't care if you're driven off of hate. And I don't think anyone should treat you like...well, like how you described your grandmother. So fuck her, fuck life and get wasted. Amen.

I want you to hate me too.
That way we can keep getting some awesome flash from you.
You suck. :P

Btw... That was an epic post.

It's great isn't it?
When I first started with the afro-ninja thing I would get some 'pft' responses from people when I said I wanted to make a job out of it. It's not that they disliked me, they just weren't giving me any credit. But whoops, looks like I have the more favorable career now.

The emotion isn't as strong with me, I would call it annoyance over hate, but it's still the same motivation

You gotta put in better fuel. You know what I mean?

What is so terrible about an old lady telling you that making Flash is a hobby?
What's so bad about a whiny complainer?

I guess you can say, I don't really understand ^^;

you are..not..very good? damnit i just can't insult you D:

I never had a hateful grandmother to motivate me. :0 Maybe that's why I never finish anything. :[

: Keep telling me I'm worthless. Keep Putting me down. Keep insulting my intelligence. Keep dissecting my work. Keep on with the ridicule.
It Doesn't Stop me or slow me down like you think. It keeps me going Strong.

Isn't that Stampers job??

Very True

Hmm... you are a failure and shall never amount to more than the pile of dust that lies beneathe your chair, and your flashes are nothing short of regurgitated anal leakage from a mexican restaurant....

damn I know i dont mean that, your flashes are fckin awesome, definately more than what I can do right now, even if i did get a tablet! And yeah, my friends constantly call my drawings doodles an stuff, and that gives me a reason to strive to be better than them at drawing.

thanks I needed That. *Sniff*

Sinitron's post motivated me to kill him. So that's cool.

Anyway, MC, don't let it all get you down. If you didn't like her, fuck her. And motivation is driven by contempt for a whole lot of people. it's really pretty normal.

So when your lacking motivation, pretend the afterlife is real and picture the bitch watching you, snickering at how fat and blaxican you are. then take that and turn it into drive to prove his wrinkly ghost ass wrong.

u are a loser with no life and u cant hold down a girlfriend and u smell bad!
happy?
I am^_^

Man up or you'll never be able to create something worth anyone wasting even the juice that keeps their eyes wet whilst they watch your shite.

Fag

I'll try and be as awesome as you are.

fuck you

We all know you were always seeking to please her deep down inside, and now you'll never have the satisfaction of her admitting she was wrong.

Sorry for your loss.

WRONG.

Don't let it kill your spirit. It's the reason I come to NG every day, waiting for Pico 2.

Talk to Tom about Pico2, Im ready to start again when he is!

Hate is the most powerful motivator.
More than money
OK maybe fear's more powerful

well good riddence to that bitch. least' my grandma is nice :P. sry tht your grandmother was a total skank. if that offended u in any way (i doubt) theni am sry XD

submit more Animations Z

you got it Sin.

Alloy is gay

I'll take it from the expert.

http://uimg.ngfiles.com/profile/1 696/1696758.gif

Wow, just wow

my grandmother is the same way, she says that I shouldn't try to make a career out of animation and stuff. That it's just something to do for fun. She is such a bitch to me but then she can turn to my brother and be soo damn nice. It pisses me off and no point in saying anything because I would just get in shit. So once I make a career out of animation and she's all old, then shes gonna feel dumb and stupid and it's all gonna be worth it.

I've had some people tell me that it's gonna be hard to do and what not but that only adds fuel to the fire to make it a career and do the best I can.

So fuck all the haters and if they don't like what I do then they can keep complaining, and I'll welcome it till they get pissed and leave.

BTW

Hi MindChamber, whats up? :D

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