This one goes out to all the MetroSexual, tight jeans wearing, camel toe sportin "dudes" that think all girls want is a guy that looks like cloud from FinalFantasy.

You're so Gay, and you don't even like boys

edit* due to the overwhelming demand of this video by girls looking for real men, the page was overloaded. the link has been redirected to the feature page, click the "Katy Perry Ur so gay"

Well Pico Day is almost upon us again, and I can't say how much I love this day. I literately get up early that day, head to the office, turn on my comp, grab a bowl of cereal, and enjoy the morning like I used to as a kid in front of the tube watching my Saturday morning cartoons.

I'm also glad Tom mentioned that he is only too happy to see fresh toons and games about not just Pico but of the whole Pico universe. A decision I'm sure was greatly influenced by some of the many awesome submissions that revolved on not just Pico. Flashback00 and Darnells Burn 'em up come to mind.

So on that note, Ive decided to make a flash about another unsung hero of the Pico Universe.
It's the first real Toon I've done in a while, and a nice break from sprite work.
The plan is to give my storytellin' chops a run for their money, and make a toon thats at least twice as epic as Pico's Unloaded was. Which should be an easy task considering how Busted that toon looks now, haha.

Aight before I get any hassles this is about a transformer figure, yea thats right. Imma talk about Toys,

so if that ain't your bag, go complain to somebody else about it.

Now that thats out of the way... I wanna talk about the Megatron Figure I got today ^_^
Before Megatron became what he is today,a walking pile of metal scrap.He actually transformed into something recognizable . That would be the Walter P38 handgun. Now, I know that isnt much of an improvement with what we have now, but thats the Megatron I grew up with.
There has been transformer lines coming from many companies outside of Hasbro and Takara, even more so than ever now that the movie has been a big hit.
Before the movie though, there was a transformer line by the company "Tomy". Their Goal is to produce very detailed versions of the G1 transformers, that not only could transform, but are Show Accurate, especially in robot mode.
Some of you probably have the 25th anniversary Optimus Prime, which is the MasterPiece Prime, that was brought over. Since Optimus, there has been MP Starscream and MP Megatron. Starscream was a walmart exclusive which I couldn't find anywhere, but I was lucky enough to get one for Christmas! (Yay!)
MP Megatron is another matter. Since hes based off the orginal Megatron that was a gun, the probability of him getting brought over is next to none. Whats worse is Importers were charging triple the amount to add the orange cap on the barrel (US specs) in order to import him.
Well, my luck finally came in when I was able to snipe one off ebay, unmoded, for a fraction of the importers price!
He's an awesome figure. Hes totally huge, (He needed to be Primes Size or bigger) and has tons of little details. Things that stand out are his articulation, like his individuals fingers, and ability to turn the neck and legs, as well as a cool little light within the arm cannon.

Making it show accurate does have its draw backs. For starters, he doesn't have the mass as a gun, like he does in robot form. Even though they doubled the size of the gun, he still was stretched apart to the limits. For example his legs were beefed up by having a section of the handle pulled out at the calf, as well as having the trigger ring folded inside of the leg. The exact thing was done to his shoulders as well. On Top of this the arm and leg joints are hidden in the handle and hammer section of the gun, so in robot mode these parts are pulled out, leaving these sections even more hollow.

Gripes aside its still an ambitious attempt at making something as impossible as Cartoon megatron transform perfectly into his gun mode and back.

and yes thats the original megatron in gun mode in the inset picture.

Man time flies. I can't believe last month marked Red Baron's year on the Portal.
Despite a few flaws, Baron still gets Frosty and I alot of E-mails. Some good , some not so good, but the fact that people Still play this game to this day is a testament of the love and effort we put into that game. Originally Baron was simply an Idea I came up with to use characters from sprite I've made long ago. That evolved into a small contest on my site for everyone to chip in sprites they might have made before or wanted to make.
The Contestants were displayed in the form of an American Idol Parody. Once everything was in place. PsychoGoldish was orginally going to code the game, but got busy(lazy) XD, and I was off searching for another Coder. I had just finished NightStrike with GlaielGamer and asked him if he had any suggestions as to who could best do the job. he pointed me towards Frosted who had created a game called the White Knight, Ironically. the game was alot of fun, I told Glaiel that it was very Good, but can he Do Z depth??. He basically told me to ask him myself, and the rest was history!!
I had a great time working with Frostedmuffins, he's a good guy, open to alot of ideas, hard worker, and a heart of gold. Cant wait to get started on our next game.

So In honor of Red Baron being on the Map for over a year, I've decided post some Strategies on the game as well as maybe a secret or two.

First Up the last Boss. This alien Boss created by Zombie-Pimp can be pretty Tough. Alot of people have complained that he's a bit cheap. So Ill go ahead and tell you how I beat him. If someone knows a better way, hey post it.

1) in his Giant robot form, he takes very little damage unless you dizzy him. To Dizzy him you Lock his fist with your scythe . You can do it with other weapons but the scythe has reach and is quicker. Basically get as close to him as possible then hold your shield up. when he strikes immediately attack. Do it fast or he will push you to far away. When you lock arms you will have to tap really fast to break the lock, there is a gauge on top, if you fail to do this he will do triple damage so DO IT! Once you break the lock he will be Dizzy. Start attacking. rinse repeat until his body explodes revealing his next form.
2) the little Alien is annoying and fast, and his combo can sometimes be hard to break. what you need is something fast. Switch to claws. The claws first strike aim down for a reason! Strike down and then try and time your loop combo to make it last as long as it could. A good trick is to make him hit the wall. This causes a little bit more damage, but most importantly it makes him bounce right back into your claws so you don't have to tap forward to continue your combo! Do this and he will change into his last form, the robot spider.
3) the Spider is fast, and his strikes are really fast and his bombs are annoying. move away, and switch to axe. The spiders attacks overhead, and the axes' under swing goes right in and cancels it.
Do this until you have to defend from the bombs. The spiders trick is to make you block from the bombs while he breaks down your shield from attacks. so remember to start movin if your shield is low. The axe doesn't have a looper combo, so remember to stop yourself before you start to change weapons. Thats right the trick with the spider is NOT to combo!
And Thats it!

Oh a couple of extra tidbits people might not know. Theres a "beat the car" bonus stage at the end of every level. To get it you need to have a certain amount of coins before entering the boss fight.
The First Stage is 60, second is 100, third is 150 , fourth 200. It isn't as easy as it looks as the coins from previous stages don't count. you basically need to learn how to do a certain trick. You need to position your enemies at one end of the screen,start attacking, then right when the screen starts to move, do your shield dash attack and juggle them back. This keeps them spitting out coins long after they have died.

Another way to get coins for weapons and restarts, is by getting the BBB! bonus. Yes its a play on StrawberryClock's famous flash., but it also stands for something. "Beat Boss Blockless" which means you cant defend at all during the Boss fight! That means you have to beat them the hard way, no Dizzies!

Anyway. thanks to Newgrounds for letting us get some of our games and Ideas out there to the people Quicker and better than any system could.

PS. Jak Baron King Rules you All in Survivor Mode.
Read his Blog he reveals all his tips and secrets!!

I always wanted to wait until something really important or meaningful warranted a blog. well, Nothing warrants that than the termination of Gamespot's more recognized and respected of Editors. Jeff Gerstmann. I'm sure you all have seen the countless articles that have flooded the net at this point.
Basically the game ,kane and Lynch by Eidos was supposed to be a success, a runaway hit title the company banked on. In an effort to make sure it was a success Eidos, invested 100s of thousands of dollars into Gamespots advertising. When Jeff's review was released, the funds were apparently revoked.
If theres any question about Eidos's integrity
know this, they know the importance of a score to their wallet

The termination of Jeff isn't just another typical corporate move slams the little game review company scenario. This is a slap in the face of what made the gaming phenomenon so profound in the first place. Its visceral, and exciting, and alive. Big media has since tapped much of that excitement out of music and films. So now it has its sights set on the budding Gaming Medium.

Jeff represented a lot of what gaming was and what it is no longer. A no holds barred ,fragfast, medium, unapologetic, and unchained by worldwide pressures of a bloated system that need mass revenue consumption to sustain. Now that games are main stream. Theres no room for fresh new, and exciting. The powers that be need to make it a cost effective profit machine, even if that means all the raw unbridled passion that originally went with it is subdued, in an effort in keeping the machine moving.

Slowly but surely, the change from gaming phenomenon to media mainstream has been taken effect. Video Games Shows are slowly being taken over with the typical E Access Hollywood flair, complete with female models and fake smiles.

Game companies are hiring spoke-persons now to sell their products. (Jade Raymond anyone?) Gone are the days that the nerdy disheveled programmer gets a chance to enthusiastically promote their dreams and goals.

We all respected Jeff because he told it like it is. A lot of people gave him flak for it, but many more respect him for it. While he may have been known as the 8.8 guy (for giving the Wii Zelda that Score) many more seem to also forget he had to fight to give that same property a perfect 10 when it first hit the Nintendo 64. He has proven himself over and over again with his expertise.

Beyond his reviews, Jeff is an incredible personality. He brought much needed fun and humor to his Video reviews and his hosting on, On the spot. Balancing out the video duds like Richardo and Brad Shoemaker, who seem to fumble and eat their words whenever on camera, Jeff was always there to keep things moving, keep things fun and fresh.

I sincerely hope the best for Jeff Gerstmann, but I have no doubt he will succeed in whatever he applies himself to. He is an incredible talent, there's no question.

It's the rest of us now that I'm worried about.

In closing, there is nothing more I can say here. Besides, words are meaningless without action. As actions speaks volumes of ones character and integrity such as Jeff. So I will end this blog with a simple, click.

I Think I win at busiest Desktop in the office.

Bob's a close second with Jeff's comin in at an almost apathetic third.

PS.

this is a bit off topic but just as important. especially to all the pretentious bastards out there.

I came across this amazing quote, by an animator I've always admired.

"The art of cartooning is vulgarity. The only reason for cartooning to exist is to be on the edge. If you only take apart what they allow you to take apart, you're Disney. Cartooning is a low-class, for-the-public art, just like graffiti art and rap music. Vulgar but believable, that's the line I kept walking." ~Ralph Bakshi

In other News Robocop Cranks it

Interesting thing Happened Friday. While Arguing on IM with some oversensitive queer who still lives in his moms basement over some mediocre game. My brother was trying to contact me. At that time it wasn't important to me what he had to say. I was having a nice volley of Drama Text, with someone that thinks way too highly of themselves. Finally the FUN had to come to an end. So I blocked the queen in mid rant, and returned my brothers message since he was being so insistent, and spoiling my fun.
Well he was quick and to the Point. My Grandmother Had a stroke, and expired.
So I did feel somewhat bad about the situation. Being not available for my brother. They were somewhat close so I try and understand how he feels and help him out any way I could.

As for me. I hated the Bitch. Plain and Simple. Nothing changed my demeanor when I heard the news.
I think I choked up more when the Merekat 'Flower' died on that show Merekat Manor. Then again Flower died trying to protect her pups, Grandma Died on her way to the shower getting ready to make her way back to Atlantic City and Gamble away her pension.

The little time I had with this woman all I could ever see was her dark side. She was manipulative, conniving, and hurtful. She Loved to tell me what I did with flash was nothing more than a hobby. She sneered when she noticed my college diploma hung in my room. Stating who do I think I am.
She would try and get me to pay back bills just because she wanted some extra money to gamble.
even going as far as saying She never received my rent money in hopes I would pay again.
I have nothing but disdain for this woman. My hate for her left me with an insatiable need to 'Prove' Myself. I WILL MAKE IT, with this so-called HOBBY . YOU FUCKIN BITCH. I will make a fuckin difference.
and Not BECOME THE BITTER FAILURE YOU BECAME IN YOUR LIFE. I used my hate to finish school, to continue to look for work in my field, even drawing out projects when I came home from long days working at local Video Chain store and dealing with asshole customers. Every time she made an effort to make my life a bit harder,(like not paying the electricity and leaving me in a hot room in a heat wave) I worked harder at my goal. I have such a hate for this woman that the mere smell of her perfume would put me in such a pissed off mood, that all I wanted to do was nothing else but get back to work on my stories and art.

So.. Nows Shes' Dead.
And Guess what NOW YOU NEED MY FUCKIN MONEY, TO HELP BURY YOUR ASS. How Ironic.
My money, made from my "hobby" will be sponsoring the last shovel of dirt on your face.
It's almost Poetic.

Now I get back to work.. but... somethings missing. I look at the stage window in flash.
and I can't Help but feel empty inside.
What is this? Is this Sadness? Guilt? Do I feel remorse for her passing.. Hmmm I sit back and assess my feelings. categorize them, file them. Oh.. I see now. Its one Less person that didn't believe in me, one less person to hate. One less driving force. So for a whole day.
I couldn't concentrate. Was I doing all this, just to prove a few insignificant people in my life wrong?
I actually felt like Agent Smith, in that Big Brawl scene in Reloaded. I lost... purpose.. I didn't realize how many of my engines ran on hate.. There's quite a few. But if all the people I hated disappeared,would I lose my drive, because I felt no purpose?
It's hard to figure out what came first, my love for storytelling or my hate for my grandmother.
I've felt both for as long as I can remember. Running on the belief that no child is born corrupt I will have to say my love for storytelling came first. In which case, I shouldn't worry about me ever losing site of my goals.
I will say this. It is people like my Grandmother, and like that faggot in the begining of this blog that fuel me to keep going.
So Yes. Please.
Keep telling me I'm worthless. Keep Putting me down. Keep insulting my intelligence. Keep dissecting my work. Keep on with the ridicule.
It Doesn't Stop me or slow me down like you think. It keeps me going Strong.

NegativeOne made some updates on NG rumble.

September 28th, 2007 - UPDATE
Hopefully the last one for a while :P Sorry if anyone loses their save file over this (don't think they will), but this is just one last iteration on the Madness update since a lot of people are finding Hank's final level too hard. There are fewer henchmen to kill now, and that's all you have to do to complete the level. Fixed a couple of minor bugs as well.

September 25th, 2007 - UPDATE
Before anything else, let me remind everyone that you might have to clear your cache for this update to show up for you. If you go into Options->Data and the number at the bottom left is 1.21, then you're seeing the most recent version. Sorry if anyone loses their save file again from this update, but it should be the last one for a while. All that said, Hank is now available in Story mode and Survival mode! There are also a bunch of bug fixes, challenge modifications, and a new easter egg or two to stumble upon ;) Enjoy!

September 22nd, 2007 - UPDATE
Barely made the Madness Day deadline >__>. That aside, Mindchamber and I rushed on a VERY tight schedule to bring you a much-demanded and long-awaited update - Hank is now a member of the NGR roster, and you're welcome to fight in Nevada if you please. I went for a modest Madness Combat style for the level, whereas Jose pulled out all the stops with an impressive Consternation-era Hank effectively making my level look like shit. For now, you can only use this character and level in Versus, but survival and story Hank will be coming shortly. Hope you enjoy both all the same. Sorry to anyone who loses their save files because of this update and those soonafter.
-Neg

September 17th, 2007 - UPDATE
Sorry, no new characters or anything at this point. This is just a desperately overdue update addressing several bug reports, adding 4-player capability for those who have joysticks, making "OMFG" difficulty genuinely hard, and sorting out a few of the balance issues (Sorry S'asshole fans :P). Nonetheless, there miiight be some more content added in the not too distant future, so keep an eye out! For now, lemme know if you catch any bugs created by this update.
-Neg

In production since December 2005, this hefty s.o.b. has taken a small handful of Newgrounders a lot of work to put together. So you guys had better enjoy it!
Take a moment to configure the options to suit your control style and computer processor.

NG Rumble.

and heres the lil program I use to play this game with 4 controllers. its called
Joy2Key

There I posted somethin,

Was Talking to an artist at the Con, and he has a chance to make it big with his Property.
A property he has loved and nurtured for years and years. I congratulated this Person and inquired about who would handle their property. When this person stated a certain individual that was also known for bastardizing properties,I gave this artist a warning. They might destroy your property.
The artist smiled and stated that the individual, knows how to "Bring in the money, so they can do pretty much what they want."

I found that pretty shocking as I consider characters I create as my kin, and would never release power over them to anyone else,but thats me. I'm not hot on money nor am I particularly greedy.

Which had me thinking about the subject of Greed in general........

Now that being overweight has been categorized as the disease, obesity. I started to wonder.
Why couldn't greed be categorized as a disease as well? A mental disorder that controls a person's conscience? We could call it. A.S.S. (Altruism Suppression Syndrome)
Haha, That dude has ASS!!
or maybe Pleonexia, which is a greek term for greed that already has a nice disease-y ring to it.

By now all of you know the conspiracy theories. Revolving around, well.. everything:
9-11, New World Order, Sex trade, Drug Trade. Human Trade,. Drug Companies, Oil Companies. Secret Governments. Green House effect. Secret Bank Institutions. I mean yeah.. The list goes on and on.

You see it works like Small Fish getting swallowed by the bigger one in a pond. Then getting swallowing another, till theres one fish.

One thing I never got, was the One World Order stuff, in association with the greenhouse effect.

Like. Why start Wars, take over countries, Destroy lands and people, for the Sake of Total Unified Dominance. Yet.. Throw it all away by screwing up the planet and its resources?

Does that Make ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER? Could these people really be this short sided and greedy?

I say to myself, noway. Makes no sense, if the planet implodes, then theres no money or land to reap from. So I was thinking, maybe theres something more?

Maybe... just maybe. they are trying to unify the planet because theres some unknown counsel of planets that we aren't allowed to be a part of because we still fight for dominance amongst ourselves. Maybe once we are part of this awesome council our new galactic partners will come down and fix everything once and for all? WHooo? SO maybe all this pain, and wars, and heat and horror is all for a better good?

Or maybe not.

I heard this story about this Old lady who used to borrow books from a local library and return them late. This Lady is a very famous widow of a Very famous general. Who also knew the president at the time. She lives in basically a Mansion, and her Husband's pension is enough to sustain her, and 40 families.
Yet, here she is, trying to duck a 25 cent late charge. She goes so far as to sneak the book back on the shelf, Claim she had returned it, and that it was the incompetence of the workers for not checking it in. She Does this knowing FULL well that, the worker she is accusing could lose her Job, and public libraries are already badly supported free establishments by the government. She KNOWS this, and yet easily risks, the welfare of an underpaid government employee, for the sake, of keeping her 25cents.

That, people is not simply a 'vice', thats a disease.

I'm sure the lot of you have seen the screenshots,
Everyone is up in arms about the latest in the resident Evil Series. Seems That Capcom thought it would be fun to have the game loosely based off of some fictional location in Africa. Blogs everywhere are griping over the visual details and the location. Basically Saying, mowing down black people in some African village is just... Wrong. They even go as far as stating some of the non infected blacks in the trailer look already demonic and possessed.

Why heres my take on it.

No.. It is not totally racist, Its not the blackface goes HD Some people claim it is.

Is it a bit Politically Incorrect? Eh.. maybe.. But the Japanese are one race, and arent a multicultural nation like the US. Maybe they aren't as receptive to the sensitivities of stereotypes?

WHO CARES!?! RES 5 is gonna rock!

My only problem is.. why Bitch now? if you are black and loved resident Evil games up until this one..
then shut up, you should consider yourself more racist than the Japanese. You see any bitching from us Latinos while you had a blast blowing up Spanish Zombies in part four? Talk about stereotypes, every Zombie in that game Dressed like Juan Valdez, and yelled " Yo Quiero matarle" like some announcer from the 'Super Sabado' Spanish Channel. If you think that our stereotypes are any less important than yours, that makes you bias . Flat Out.
I only wish they kept the stereotypes consistent. When it comes to Japanese people , they always present themselves as the heroes in these games. Chris Redfield and Leon are 6ft Tall, blond, with Asian eyes, and lean bodies.. Ya.... Come on.. Consistency People... Well... Then again how scary would it be if Rez Evil 6 was located in Japan? 4 foot tall zombies probably wouldn't be very threatening, ha.

I say as long as the games are fun, and are not presenting a message of hate. Leave it alone.
It worked for Grand Theft Auto.

Besides,I hear Rez Evil 7 will be located in Ireland! I can't wait to shoot Zombies in Kilts, river dancing into my 12 gauge >:p

Lol Zombies are broke.